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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06.Dec.2017 at 18:09










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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17.Dec.2017 at 18:47
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17.Jan.2018 at 10:05
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17.Jan.2018 at 10:06
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22.Jan.2018 at 17:43
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ijus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25.Jan.2018 at 11:32
zadnja. hahaha. bla bla bla...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29.Jan.2018 at 09:39
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ijus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29.Jan.2018 at 13:42
jao ej.

parno obračalo
parna žleht lička/žlička
napravica žleht lička/žlička
to jest Fozo
no comment
same
never mind
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote robi666 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31.Jan.2018 at 08:12
Ujko, je'l mene donela roda?
Ne sunce ujkino, ti si peder, tebe je doneo flamingo . 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04.Feb.2018 at 00:28







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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04.Feb.2018 at 18:52
Čovjek pobjegne , iz zatvora gdje je proveo 15 godina , i provali , u neku kuću, tražeći novac i oružje. Pronalazi mladi par u krevetu. Naređuje muškarcu da izađe iz kreveta i veže ga za stolicu. 
Dok je vezao djevojku za krevet , popeo se na nju, ljubio joj vrat i šaputao na uho, a onda je ustao i otišao u kupaonicu . 
Dok je bio tamo, muž kaže svojoj ženi: 
" Čuj , ovaj tip, je osuđenik koji je pobjegao iz zatvora , pogledaj mu odjeću! 
Vjerojatno je proveo mnogo vremena u zatvoru i nije vidio ženu, godinama ... Primjetio sam kako te poljubio u vrat. Ako želi seks, ne odupiri se,
ne žali se, učini sve što ti on kaže. Zadovolji ga bez obzira koliko ti je sve
to odvratno.
Ovaj tip je vjerojatno vrlo opasan. Ako ga razljutimo, on će nas ubiti. Budi
jaka, medena, volim te." 
Žena šapućući odgovara: 
" A ne on nije ljubio moj vrat ... Šaputao mi je na uho ... Rekao je da je 
gay, misli da si sladak, a pitanje je bilo imamo li vazelin ... Rekla sam mu
da je u kupaonici . Budi jak medeni, i ja tebe volim!".

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13.Feb.2018 at 13:39
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19.Feb.2018 at 18:39
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20.Feb.2018 at 14:35

en Dejzijev

I was walking home one evening and came upon a clearly depressed man standing at the edge of a bridge, looking like he was about to jump. I called out to him to wait, and ran over to see what was the matter.

"It's this country," he lamented. "It's falling into ruin and there's nothing I can do about it. The election was the last straw. I don't want to live on this planet anymore."

"Well cheer up," I said. "We're all in this together. Say, are you a conservative, or a libertarian?"

"A libertarian," he said.

"That's great!" I said. "See, you're not alone. Are you a free-market libertarian or a libertarian socialist?"

"Free-market libertarian," he said.

"Me too!" I said. "Paleo-libertarian or neo-libertarian?"

"Paleo-libertarian," he said.

"Hey, so am I!" I said. "Chicago or Austrian school of economics?"

"Austrian," he said.

"Me too," I said. "Hayek or Rothbardian strand?"

"Rothbardian," he said.

"Same here," I said. "Are you a consequentialist or deontological libertarian?"

"Consequentialist," he said.

So I said, "Die, statist scum!" and pushed him off the bridge.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22.Feb.2018 at 13:08




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24.Feb.2018 at 22:35
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06.Mar.2018 at 13:52
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06.Mar.2018 at 16:33
Janezek je radoveden, nekaj mu ne da miru, zato se obrne k očetu: "Daj mi povej, kaj je to impotenca?" 
Ta star nekaj časa poglobljeno razmišlja in nato izusti: "Veš sine, to je približno tako, kot če bi igral pikado s kuhanimi špageti ..."


Vpraša mali Janezek očeta: "Zakaj deda stalno bere Sveto pismo?" 
Oče zlobno odgovori: "Pripravlja se za sprejemni izpit."

 
Mali Gorenček vpraša ateja: "A vohka televizijo gledam?"
Ata pa prav: "Vohka, vohka, sam ne je pržgat."
 

Nekatere preveč skrbijo leta, zato ... kakšna je razlika med ženskami starosti 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 in 68 let? 
 
Pri 8 - pelješ jo v posteljo in ji poveš pravljico. 
 
Pri 18 - poveš ji pravljico in jo pelješ v posteljo. 
 
Pri 28 - ne rabiš ji povedati pravljice, da gre v posteljo. 
 
Pri 38 - ona ti pove pravljico in te pelje v posteljo. 
 
Pri 48 - poveš ji pravljico, da ti ni treba z njo v posteljo. 
 
Pri 58 - greš prej v posteljo, da ne rabiš poslušati njene pravljice. 
 
Pri 68 - z njo v posteljo greš samo še v pravljici.
 

Po Sahari se sprehajata dva severna medveda. 
In pripomni prvi drugemu: "Tule je morala biti pa resna poledica, da so tako močno posipali..."
 

Uslužbenec vpraša šefa: "Šefe, ali lahko grem danes prej domov, pomagat moram ženi okrog dela po hiši?"
"Ne!"
"Hvala šefe, vedel sem, da se na vas lahko zanesem."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ijus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06.Mar.2018 at 19:11
... then talk to each other CryLOLLOLLOL haha
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08.Mar.2018 at 13:21
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22.Mar.2018 at 12:44
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27.Mar.2018 at 11:32
Nekje v Sloveniji ...
Pridejo Bosanc, Slovenc in Avstrijc pred Sv. Petra.
Pravi Peter: Rabim železen kontejner. Kdor dobi posel gre v nebesa!
Dajo ponudbe. Bosanc 400 €, Avstrijc 600 € in Slovenc 3000 €!
Petra zamika vedet zakaj take razlike in povabi vse na razgovor. Pojasni Bosanc: 200 delo, 200 material
Avstrijc reče: Mi imamo zahtevnejše standarde za material, plačamo prispevke za delavce. 300 delo, 300 material.
In Slovenc: 1000 meni, 1000 tebi, 600 Avstrijcu da bo tiho, za 400 bo pa Bosanc našvasal kontejner

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11.Apr.2018 at 13:12


https://net.hr/hot/zvijezde/severina-priznala-da-ju-je-zbog-slavnog-filmica-nazvao-i-arsen-dedic-kolegice-ja-sam-cuo-da-imate-neki-film/

Severina je nastavila: ‘U tim situacijama ljudi uvijek pruže podršku, dobila sam tisuće poruka, ali jedna mi je ostala u najjasnijem sjećanju. Zove me Arsen Dedić i kaže: ‘Kolegice, ja sam čuo da imate neki film, ali nemate glazbu pa se preporučujem”.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Potty Mouth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19.Apr.2018 at 22:14

...microaggressor & safe space destroyer
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ijus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21.May.2018 at 12:49
Kliče Fata iz bloka svog sina:
anđele!
Anđele!!
ANĐELE!!!
MORBID ANĐELE!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21.May.2018 at 15:07

Pogledaj dom svoj morbidni anđele! LOL




Kliče mama iz balkona svojega sina, ki je na igrišču: "Ervineeee, živalo jedna, prid' dam kosilat!"

True story! From the 90's as I recall. 

Pa še ena: "Na, tle maš za lučko, pa da te eno uro splo' ne vem!" Mama dobila obisk ...


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ijus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22.May.2018 at 01:14
Pride cigo v trgovino pa prav prodajalki: dve elektrike bi kupo.
//mislo je na baterije
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ijus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22.May.2018 at 01:34
pride janezek v trgovino pa vpraša če imajo sto kil kruha.
pa prav prodajalke da ne ker ga ne bodo prodal toliko.
gre janezek in naredi samomor.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ijus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22.May.2018 at 01:34
Prodaje Cigo pojačalo.
Pita ga kupac: "Je li bre, koliko je jako pojačalo?"
- "Ama, jako brate!"
- "Ma pitam te koliko je vatno?"
- "Ama, neverovatno!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11.Jun.2018 at 10:35
Tole dejansko ven vrže na GT, enako tudi pri prevodu v hrvaščino tako, da ne vem več, ali je to nekdo vnesel kot "pravilen prevod" ali ...?



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20.Jun.2018 at 11:07
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”

The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”

The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.”

The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.”

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.”

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?”

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man demands the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.

So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”

The man is relieved to no end.

He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01.Aug.2018 at 14:47

Iz knjige Devil's Dictionary:

CANNIBAL, n. A gastronome of the old school who preserves the simple tastes and adheres to the natural diet of the pre-pork period.

DENTIST, n. A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

EGOTIST, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that.

LIGHTHOUSE, n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.

LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

MULATTO, n. A child of two races, ashamed of both.

PHILOSOPHY, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom— and of whom only—it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote vulgaris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01.Aug.2018 at 14:58
Originally posted by Ijus Ijus wrote:

Pride cigo v trgovino pa prav prodajalki: dve elektrike bi kupo.
//mislo je na baterije
top shit, brate!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13.Aug.2018 at 11:10

One day an 85-year-old man is taking a stroll around his hometown, which he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing....

"I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on that. But people wont call you the bridge builder if you do that here. No, no, they dont!"

"I remember building that house over there when I was 30. But people wont call you the house builder if you do that. No, no they dont!"

"I remember building that tavern that I still lounge at when I was 35. If you do that people wont call you the tavern builder either. They sure wont!"

"But if you fuck one goat......."





Harley died and went to heaven. St Peter was delighted by his arrival and informed Harley that God really wanted to meet him as a great fellow designer.

They finally met and as they were walking along talking about various aspects of design Harley mustered the courage to tell God that " Eve had an inherent design flaw which has never been fixed in all subsequent models."

God looked at him quite puzzled and asked him what that design flaw was. Harley replied, "well the inlet valve and the outlet valve on a woman are too close to each other."

God stared at Harley in amazement and after nodding for a while he put his arm around Harley and replied: "That may be so Harley, but don't forget more men have ridden my model than all your models put together."



Edited by Poli - 13.Aug.2018 at 11:52
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16.Aug.2018 at 09:27
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10.Sep.2018 at 17:33
Tegale sem c/p...


Agency heads of MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition and meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big German forest.

The contest is as follows: each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins.

First, the MI5 agents head for the forest. When they emerge eight hours later, they carry a live rabbit in a cage. “We posted lookouts around the forest, and after spotting the rabbit, we shadowed it until it showed us his hideout, we then just placed the cage over the entrance and waited for the rabbit to fall in our trap. Neat and simple.”

The CIA team enters the forest and emerges four hours later, holding a rabbit carcass which seems to have been shot and badly beaten several times. “We used satellite surveillance to acquire our target, but during the tracking, the subject tried to escape, so we had to use drastic measures. Still counts.” Nobody objects.

Now, it was the KGB’s turn. The four agents disappear into the forest, and return after only an hour. But they are not carrying a rabbit, but hold a bear between two of the agents. The bear is badly bruised, has a limp and keeps head held down, looking at the ground. Absently, he mumbles “I am a rabbit. My parents were both rabbits.”

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27.Sep.2018 at 11:42




Edited by Poli - 27.Sep.2018 at 11:45
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Poli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28.Sep.2018 at 23:55

pitali muju što misli o migrantima.

kaže mujo: ja mislim da je to prešlo sve granice.


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