2014/4/4 - Ufomammut @ Klub Gromka

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UFOMAMMUT (ITA) - sludge/doom/pscychedelic/transcendental/loud as fuck

http://www.facebook.com/pages/UFOMAMMUT/83336386071
http://www.ufomammut.com/
http://www.last.fm/music/Ufomammut
http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxQmDfJfj-jokDkzV-pBMCg
http://www.facebook.com/events/418166284985089

Our consciousness has expanded in ways that it never should. We started thinking about things of which we should not think. What is our purpose here? What is time? What happens to us after we meet death? It was destined for us never to get these answers. But destiny has a mind of its own. These answers became clear to me in a vision that occurred to me not so far ago.

Thursday. On Thursdays I usually do something that every male of my species does. Viciously masturbate to emperor penguins while dressed up as a stormtrooper ballerina. But last Thursday was far from being average. It was as far from the usual as an Illuminati conspiracy theorist is from intelligence.

There was this eerie presence in the atmosphere. As I woke up, there were a few things different. The sun resembled a semi-transparent three-dimensional shape that was constantly changing dimensions, colors and... smell. I could smell it's colors, shapes and energy. I could also hear it. It sounded like random noises that later decoded in my brains as divine messages. I did not know if I was the only one who noticed that. Everybody I met during the day seemed normal. Nobody mentioned the sun and the noise to me, and I did not mention it to anyone else either.

The day started to become even weirder at lunchtime. I started cooking with the help from a cookbook I found recently which was written by the master chef Steven Reed. As I prepared the food and put it on my plate, the food ate and digested me. It was a strange occurrence that probably did not happen to me before. At least, not that I remember it. Getting high on cleaning fluids and penile discharge which is a product of Gonorrhea takes it's toll and kinda fucks up your memory. When the food processed me and I exited it's anus I was not hungry anymore. It was like I was eating food, but it was the other way around.

But I didn't concern myself with that for it was...

(dramatic silence)

...masturbation time.

I opened the windows and turned on the lights, making sure that my neighbors would see me. I put on my stormtrooper ballerina costume, opened the documentary about emperor penguins, I applied humongous amounts of home-made lube which I make from tears of kidnapped orphans and began with the most furious masturbation so far documented by historians, biologists and creationists.

When I climaxed, the only things that came out of my illegally large penis were trapped spirits that I had finally set free. They were the spirits of ancestors of life on Earth. They died in another dimension before time and space were created. They told me that by setting them free they are obligated to tell me about the secrets of existence.

They began with time. How it existed before the creation of man and that now, time is just an illusion created by sentient beings to cover the fact that they killed time in order to get to it's fetal form which is a source of unlimited souls. But I was not interested in that story. I wanted to know what my purpose is. Why do I exist? What will become of me, when my soul leaves my body?

I was unaware of the fact that they had eyes. But when I asked them about my existence, their optically non-existent eyes lit up. Their voice came to me in physical form. The answer was:

'To see Ufomammut at Gromka, dipshit'

And then they dispersed. I felt alone, but full of knowledge. Now I know my purpose. I have reached a new level of understanding and now I am a complete being in harmony with the universe and unknown areas beyond our reasoning capabilities. 

Eksena.

Ear disaster: 10€

Edited by Person-man - 21.Feb.2014 at 16:23

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Person-man Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Organizator Joined: 26.Nov.2007 Location: Isle Of Man Status: Offline Points: 5111	Post Options Post Reply Quote Person-man Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: 2014/4/4 - Ufomammut @ Klub Gromka Posted: 21.Feb.2014 at 16:21
	UFOMAMMUT (ITA) - sludge/doom/pscychedelic/transcendental/loud as fuck http://www.facebook.com/pages/UFOMAMMUT/83336386071 http://www.ufomammut.com/ http://www.last.fm/music/Ufomammut http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxQmDfJfj-jokDkzV-pBMCg http://www.facebook.com/events/418166284985089 Our consciousness has expanded in ways that it never should. We started thinking about things of which we should not think. What is our purpose here? What is time? What happens to us after we meet death? It was destined for us never to get these answers. But destiny has a mind of its own. These answers became clear to me in a vision that occurred to me not so far ago. Thursday. On Thursdays I usually do something that every male of my species does. Viciously masturbate to emperor penguins while dressed up as a stormtrooper ballerina. But last Thursday was far from being average. It was as far from the usual as an Illuminati conspiracy theorist is from intelligence. There was this eerie presence in the atmosphere. As I woke up, there were a few things different. The sun resembled a semi-transparent three-dimensional shape that was constantly changing dimensions, colors and... smell. I could smell it's colors, shapes and energy. I could also hear it. It sounded like random noises that later decoded in my brains as divine messages. I did not know if I was the only one who noticed that. Everybody I met during the day seemed normal. Nobody mentioned the sun and the noise to me, and I did not mention it to anyone else either. The day started to become even weirder at lunchtime. I started cooking with the help from a cookbook I found recently which was written by the master chef Steven Reed. As I prepared the food and put it on my plate, the food ate and digested me. It was a strange occurrence that probably did not happen to me before. At least, not that I remember it. Getting high on cleaning fluids and penile discharge which is a product of Gonorrhea takes it's toll and kinda fucks up your memory. When the food processed me and I exited it's anus I was not hungry anymore. It was like I was eating food, but it was the other way around. But I didn't concern myself with that for it was... (dramatic silence) ...masturbation time. I opened the windows and turned on the lights, making sure that my neighbors would see me. I put on my stormtrooper ballerina costume, opened the documentary about emperor penguins, I applied humongous amounts of home-made lube which I make from tears of kidnapped orphans and began with the most furious masturbation so far documented by historians, biologists and creationists. When I climaxed, the only things that came out of my illegally large penis were trapped spirits that I had finally set free. They were the spirits of ancestors of life on Earth. They died in another dimension before time and space were created. They told me that by setting them free they are obligated to tell me about the secrets of existence. They began with time. How it existed before the creation of man and that now, time is just an illusion created by sentient beings to cover the fact that they killed time in order to get to it's fetal form which is a source of unlimited souls. But I was not interested in that story. I wanted to know what my purpose is. Why do I exist? What will become of me, when my soul leaves my body? I was unaware of the fact that they had eyes. But when I asked them about my existence, their optically non-existent eyes lit up. Their voice came to me in physical form. The answer was: 'To see Ufomammut at Gromka, dipshit' And then they dispersed. I felt alone, but full of knowledge. Now I know my purpose. I have reached a new level of understanding and now I am a complete being in harmony with the universe and unknown areas beyond our reasoning capabilities. Eksena. Ear disaster: 10€ Edited by Person-man - 21.Feb.2014 at 16:23
	KiborgSpužva Büking™ FB pejđ Profanity fuckzine I party with lemons

Person-man Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Organizator Joined: 26.Nov.2007 Location: Isle Of Man Status: Offline Points: 5111	Post Options Post Reply Quote Person-man Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 20.Mar.2014 at 11:39

	KiborgSpužva Büking™ FB pejđ Profanity fuckzine I party with lemons

vulgaris Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Organizator Joined: 16.Nov.2007 Location: Slovenia Status: Offline Points: 2035	Post Options Post Reply Quote vulgaris Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 20.Mar.2014 at 12:07



Person-man Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Organizator Joined: 26.Nov.2007 Location: Isle Of Man Status: Offline Points: 5111	Post Options Post Reply Quote Person-man Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02.Apr.2014 at 13:16
	Štart prestavljen :* Vrata ob 21.15 Špil ob 21.30
	KiborgSpužva Büking™ FB pejđ Profanity fuckzine I party with lemons

Jovo Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 23.Nov.2007 Status: Offline Points: 4317	Post Options Post Reply Quote Jovo Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02.Apr.2014 at 22:23
	Two and a half paranoid users are excited for this gig. Sori, Aris, kaj me pa ne prides pogledat v tvojem Tus kompleksu :(
	Cheeseburger eating motherfucker! Ma jebi se ti(jovo™) NEW AGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fru-fru muškarac.

rožica Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 24.Nov.2007 Status: Offline Points: 3438	Post Options Post Reply Quote rožica Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02.Apr.2014 at 23:24
	Meni sicer Ufomammut niso nevemkaj dobri, ampak pridem pa vseeno, tako da sta več kot samo dva in pol. :]
	All matter in the universe is destined to become the scrap heap of history. It’s called the 2nd Law.

Železnk Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Organizator Joined: 05.Jun.2008 Location: Slovenia Status: Offline Points: 1616	Post Options Post Reply Quote Železnk Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 04.Apr.2014 at 12:40
	Ufomammut so za mene eni izmed redkih italjanskih bendo, ki so dejansko dobri. Pridem.
	Pazi vidra!

Person-man Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Organizator Joined: 26.Nov.2007 Location: Isle Of Man Status: Offline Points: 5111	Post Options Post Reply Quote Person-man Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 04.Apr.2014 at 12:56
	Once again. Dans. Vrata 21.15, koncert 21.30 naprej pa ... neki
	KiborgSpužva Büking™ FB pejđ Profanity fuckzine I party with lemons

frogstomp Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 16.Nov.2007 Location: Slovenia Status: Offline Points: 12341	Post Options Post Reply Quote frogstomp Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 04.Apr.2014 at 13:50
	tole ga žg! Edited by frogstomp - 04.Apr.2014 at 13:50
	KRIVE SPOHE - risana serija CRISIX online game

Železnk Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Organizator Joined: 05.Jun.2008 Location: Slovenia Status: Offline Points: 1616	Post Options Post Reply Quote Železnk Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 06.Apr.2014 at 18:34
	Meni je bil top koncert.
	Pazi vidra!

Jovo Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 23.Nov.2007 Status: Offline Points: 4317	Post Options Post Reply Quote Jovo Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 06.Apr.2014 at 22:27
	Meni je istotak bilo super.
	Cheeseburger eating motherfucker! Ma jebi se ti(jovo™) NEW AGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fru-fru muškarac.

pestilence. Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 23.Jan.2009 Status: Offline Points: 2465	Post Options Post Reply Quote pestilence. Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 08.Apr.2014 at 11:14
	Ql je blo
	"En dan se mi bo strgal vse bom pustu in bom šu." Janez Zmazek-Žan